Kristi wrote:FishPants wrote:Just to be more clear, here is an example of an alternative, condensed (the actual argument probably went on much longer):
Me: John, it is time for bed
Me: Do you want to walk up the stairs, or have a piggy-back?
John: No walk! No piggy back!
Me: Do you want to go upside down up the stairs?
John: Upside down please!
The goal, John in bed, is accomplished. I don't care that he gets there upside down.
That's exactly what I meant. You took the argument away from walking up the stairs or not - which could have gone on forever, to a happy solution for everyone. I'll have to remember that! Sometimes I'll do it with hide and seek - I'll play for a few minutes then hide in the bed so Timmy has to find me there. It's not the most direct route, but it gets him there.
Oh ya, we do that too, and often 'race' up the stairs or to see who can get PJs on fastest. But at the same time, G is now at an age where I expect that if I explain why he has to do something (like, it is time for bed so you have energy tomorrow to do these fun things), he should be able to question it (so, why does sleeping make me have energy in the morning), but in the end he should understand it and eventually it will be less of a struggle. I give him choices about it (teeth before bath or teeth after, what PJs etc) but at the end of the day, I am at the point where I think explaining things helps reinforce why it is important for them to do something. I always figure if there is no good explanation (it is just 'because I said so') then it is not worth even arguing about. I feel that better prepares them for decisions when you are not around (so, the reason I am only having one cookie at grandmas is because they are not the best choice to make me big and strong... etc).
M on the other hand- I am all ears, I am so out of my league with her...